A bottle in a lilac sea.

Warning : this love letter is important for me and probably her, so if ever you’re know a girl name Kay Seek, Kate Moss so call looking girl, thin, white, blond, blue eyes who told you about a certain unfinish love affair with a receptionist in Paris about 2005, send her my bottle, pleeeeeeease !

Once upon a time in Paris I was working in a hotel, homeless, lonely for 800 euros, feeling like a piece of shit. I remember this hotel for one reason, one only reason, YOU. Once you appear to me like an Abissyen cat but deadly to my heart cause I knew at the very same moment that you were not free . Do you remember, where ever you are now ? The receptionist ? So sad, so angry, apparently, so lonely behind his desk ? Do you remember that night ? That night you discovered that all this anger, this sadness was in fact pure love for you ? “Sorry if I didn’t answer your smile but each smile of you was a spell on me” Pure love at first sight. Do you remember me now ? Who ever you are…. By the way, my name is Stéphane Mortimore, all yours till my last breath.

It took me 13 years to understand your magnificent answer. During the weeks after you gone I was just sorrow, weeping and mourning, never understand you loved me, until recently. And it’s probably too late, so much thing can happen in 13 years… I just know your alive. I know from the deep of myself. And still… I’m calling you just like I did that famous night. If you knew, if you knew my heart, my soul… But you know nothing still, don’t you. ?

Do you feel the butterflies of my kisses upon your skin ? Do you smell the trace of my perfume in the deep of your wet dreams ? Do you feel the string of my desire into yours, do you feel love and it spell invading you when you hear me singing at nigh into the wood of your deep mind. Do you feel my tears not to see you into my arms ? Do you only know ? No you don’t, you know nothing, how could you ? I wasn’t saying anything, my face immobilize by pain, that thunderstruck of your sun deep into my heart. A flow of sorrow and childish stupor,. Love is a broken glory song you were saying ? An hallelujah which broke itself on the cold arch of our impossible hope ? Do you really think it’s only that ? No true love is an oath that no one can break. Nor me or you. How could I ? You let me blood-free during years and I didn’t even knew it myself. You came back tirelessly in my fevers like an indelible stain into the book of my very existence, attached for life with some songs and my wide memory of your face. Yes I can tell what was the color of your shirt when you enter into the hall, the way you walk, the face you had when I told you had a message with your pink pull over and your white tee-shirt. And here I am 13 years later waiting to love you for good. On the step of which rainbow are we going to see each other my soul ?

You were afraid to love me you said. Well I was too and still I am because I have no explanation to that love. No explanation except it’s something real and solid as gold. You’re all my lonely night and lonely day. You’re my thin white lily. You’re my moon and once briefly a huge rising sun in my life. My stairway to heaven. So if one of this day this bottle cross the lilac sea of our missed love to your shore, what ever you’re married, mother, 20 years younger than me or so : divorce and come as you are…. Life is short and fragile…. But no worry, I waited until now, and I’ll wait for you until my next life.  But if it doesn’t worth it, this time, you shall tell me right into my eyes. Mean time : piratemorti@gmail.com.